【Dear Utol (2025): Chick! Episode 47】

Now that summer is Dear Utol (2025): Chick! Episode 47over, kids are back in school. And while parents everywhere are jumping for joy, the enduring question is once more posed: "What's for lunch, Mom/Dad?"

SEE ALSO: Dad With Cancer Pens 826 Napkin Notes for Daughter's Future Lunches

Even if you aren't packing brown bag lunches this year, the memory of school lunches stays with you. What kind of lunch did you enjoy in the cafeteria and, more importantly, what did it say about you?

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Heart-shaped salami sandwich with a packet of cheese crackers and a handwritten note.

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You wore vintage clothing before it was cool. Your favorite subject was "Great Works of Art," you loved the class hamster, Shoelaces, and you always made sure to invite the new kid over after school for a playdate so s/he wouldn't be left out. Dark secret: You once let your crush cheat off you during a spelling test.

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Can of soda, homemade buffalo wings, packet of blue cheese dressing, cucamelons

Even at 8 years old, you just DGAF. You listened to Queen, used curse words your babysitter taught you to fend off bullies on the schoolyard and were the class wunderkind when it came to math and science. Every kid wanted to be your friend but you wielded your power in a fair, kind way. You were elected to student government based on a platform for better vending machines.

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Avocado sushi, organic juice box, carob cookies made with spelt flour

This was a hard sell when other kids were eating Oreos and white bread sandwiches. It's okay that you used to throw your lunch in the trash and use your allowance to buy Swedish fish and potato chips. We'd never tell your mom.

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Capri sun and Lunchables

Your parents let you get those fake highlights that washed out. Your cool aunt (she made you call her that) coached the soccer team and your older sibling gave you all the best hand-me-downs that looked effortlessly cool. To your face, everyone loved you and you were always chosen first for every group project. Behind your back, everyone talked smack. Sorry.

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Egg salad sandwich on a mini croissant, leftover canapés from your parents' party, cranberry cocktail juice

You don't come from a line of great home cooks, but you inherited a knack for ordering great room service. You probably had a nanny, a chauffeur, a maid, a tutor, and a pony. Maybe two ponies. Your parents weren't able to go to every back-to-school-night (Monte Carlo doesn't just visit itself), but you did learned from an early age the difference between a shaken martini and one that is stirred.

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